Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
