Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
