Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
