your thong is hanging out like whoa
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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