it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
