the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
