Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
