my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
