Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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