I can tuck mytits in my pants
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize