Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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