"it" just moved
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
