He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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