i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
