May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
