The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
