I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
