3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
