awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
