I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude i'm inner monologue high
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
