so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
