the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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