He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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