i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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