But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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