chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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