she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
