so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
