i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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