So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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