How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
