This girl is more easily done than said...
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I believe in your delicious
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
