My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
