I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
