I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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