Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
