all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
