i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We have so much sex to catch up on
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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