i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
