i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
