I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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