It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
