Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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