he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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