I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
