we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
