We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
