somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
