I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
