yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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