yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
