she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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