and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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