I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
FUCK WHALES
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
