Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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